Yesterday, I was faced with a difficult decision: Do I take my son to the doctor, or wait it out to see if he got better? This may not sound like a serious debate, but this is something that I constantly struggle with.
I have a love/hate relationship with the pediatrician’s office. Since we brought Andrew home from the NICU after he was born, I feel like I’ve been fighting for doctors to listen to me.
I’m not sure if it’s the overprotective mother in me, and often, I’m afraid to trust my instincts. It feels like every time I call them when he’s sick, they say the same thing:
It’s just teething.
It’s just a virus. It will pass in a week to 10 days.
For the past few months, I’ve opted not to call the nurse’s line and instead directly book appointments when Andrew was sick. How can a nurse diagnose him over the phone when she doesn’t even remember his name?
But even now, it feels like every time I go into the pediatrician’s office, I’m being judged. If his symptoms aren’t bad, they look at me like I’m a hypochondriac mother. I over-react to everything. If his symptoms are worse, they treat me like I’m abusing him.
I feel like there’s no middle ground.
Let me be real here. Andrew has been sick for the last week. He’s had an awful cough at night, so we took him to an urgent care kids clinic. I just couldn’t face the judgment at the pediatrician’s office. They said it was just a cold and it should pass.
Well, it didn’t.
Yesterday, I noticed a white coating on his tongue. I debated whether or not to call the pediatrician. I finally bit the bullet.
I’m glad I did.
Turns out he has strep throat, along with hand, foot and mouth disease. I knew there was something wrong. And I pushed my instincts aside, afraid to be judged.
I feel horrible. My little boy has been suffering, all because I couldn’t wouldn’t stand up for him.
I really think it’s time to change pediatricians. I don’t trust them. And they don’t trust me. It’s like we’re in a stand-off, trying to prove who knows best for Andrew. That’s not how it should be at all. I want to feel like his pediatrician is working WITH me to take care of him. And I’m just not getting that where we are.
So here’s to all the mothers out there who trust their gut and fight for their children. Who don’t back down when a doctor who can’t remember your child’s name — let alone his age — tells you it’s nothing.
I’m slowly learning from my mistakes.
PS – Combination strep throat and hand, foot and mouth disease is awful. If you don’t hear from me much this week, I’m just trying to survive. I promise to be back stronger than ever, if we both survive this.
Sorry your little guy is suffering – AND that your pediatrician makes you feel judged. I hope you can find a supportive, encouraging doctor instead (if those even still exist). You sound like a terrific mother to me – and he’s lucky to have you!
Thank you, girl!
Prayers ascending that he heals quickly!!!
Thanks so much! Xoxoxo
I never really liked our Pediatrician either. it was an office full of different doctors. It was a different person every time. drove me nuts.. how could they know what was going on with my girl if it was someone new every time I took her.
when she was about a year and a half I pulled her.. I started taking her to my regular family doctor. sure, she doesn’t specialize in children, but she specialized in me, and my husband. And in turn, then my daughter. We coudln’t be happier. I dont have to go in their all uncomfortable. My daughter is 5 now, loves the office and the doctor. Maybe that is an option for you. I felt my family doctor gave her much better care than the ped’s.
Good luck,hope your little man feels better soon.
We moved to Richardson two years ago, but still drive to Farmers Branch to keep our pediatrician, because I couldn’t quickly find one I liked here. It’s hard. We also make occasional use of Pediatric After Hours and have been happy with them, too. I hope Andrew gets better quickly.
Poor little guy! Strep seems to be making the rounds again. Both of my kids had it a few months ago and my brother’s kids had it last week.
I feel for you! It was usually the staff that I didn’t like at our pediatrician’s offices. When my daughter was about 18 months old she went into a febrile seizure. At the time, I didn’t know that’s what it was. She had been sick and every time I called and talked to the nurse they’d give me the line about “give it a good 24-36 hours”. I felt they were wrong but we’re supposed to be able to trust these people. So when her fever spiked to 104 and she had the seizure, I freaked and called 911. The ambulance came and took us to Cook’s Children’s Hospital. Turned out she had a double ear infection and a throat infection. Time wasn’t going to make it go away. When I took her in to the pediatrician for a follow up after that, she told me to always trust my instincts. I haven’t called to talk to a nurse since then. They just can’t diagnose over a phone. I’m sure they do deal with parents who panic over every little thing…but, honestly, so what? These are our children. I’d rather be overly cautious then have my child go through days of misery because it turned out to be something.
Yes, look for a different pediatrician! I can honestly say after 4 children that I have never felt that way at our pediatrician’s office, which I’m so thankful for…I hope you find someone who will dialogue with you and be on your team in raising your precious child.
Me too. It’s so hard to know when to take him, and when not to. Plus it only adds to my confusion that fevers that were very high when I was little, 102-104 are par the course for viruses these days and do not always warrant a trip to the pedi!
I feel judged frequently too.
I am so sorry you’re going through the same thing, Haley! I hope you find a doctor who doesn’t judge you.
I would change pediatricians. I have one that I love. They do not use medicine all the time and they are all women in the practice. Mine is Dr. Okamore at Villiage Pediatrics. She is awesome and she is a mom and understands. LOVE her.